Don't tell your date you are a ham radio operator

This was a comment by a veterinary friend of mine when I asked for general dating advice. I am sure he meant well but I am not sure why he said it. Why wouldn't I tell my date about an exciting hobby of mine?

I am proud of being an amateur radio operator or "ham". My dad has been a ham for over 50 years. I grew up exposed to the hobby. My dad had radios, technical manuals, and electronic equipment scattered around the house. He went to the monthly ham radio meetings of several clubs. I spoke on the radio many times as a child.  While I was growing up, I put "getting my ham radio license" on my to-do list. However, as a busy college student and then even busier veterinarian, I never make the time to actually get it done.  A few years ago, a large thunderstorm hit the Chicago area. I lost power at home and couldn't access the TV weather reports. I remember the moment when I realized that if I had my ham radio license and a radio,  I would know what was happening with the storm in my immediate area.  The next day, I purchased the beginner Technician manual from the American Radio Relay League. I  read it thoroughly and  studied the current questions and correct answers before taking the test. I passed the test with a good grade and received my ham radio license in a week. I wish our tests in veterinary school gave the students all the questions and answers to study!  I joined a local club and was appointed to a committee chair position. I upgraded my technician class license to the General and Extra Class within 6 months. I purchased several radios for my house and truck. As an overachieving veterinarian, I jumped into my new hobby 110%.

A funny thing happened at a  recent dinner party when a friend  introduced me to her newly single veterinarian friend. She tried very hard to find something that we would have in common. She tried everything from skiing, hiking, colleges attended, and places we traveled. Except for our profession, we didn't share too many things. He enjoys sailing and I get seasick. I love to ski and he hates cold weather. Finally after many topics and hobbies were discussed, I told her to tell him that I am a ham radio operator. She is one of my friends that teased me about having this unusual hobby. Who else would share it in the internet and iphone age?  What man would be impressed by this hobby in a prospective date? To our amazement, he informed us that he is a ham radio operator also!!! The conversation turned to us talking about radios, antennas, clubs, and frequencies......much to our mutual friend's chagrin. We finally had a common hobby to chat about during the rest of dinner.

A final comment to my friend who said not to tell guys that I am a ham:  Thanks for the advice, but I think I will inform all prospective dates about my amateur radio hobby. They may be an amateur radio operator also!

How the dating websites helped me get a new life

One of the current dilemmas in the dating world is where to meet eligible men. After looking for single men in my social circle and not finding any potential candidates, I did what practically every newly single person does:  I  joined the dating websites. In keeping with my overachieving self, I joined a few of them at once and posted several pictures of my and my dog. Next I had to write what who I was and what I am looking for in a mate. That was easy.

Then there were the questions about my current interests, activities, and  hobbies.....

In my former life, I went skiing every weekend in the winter and traveled to a fun place once or twice a year. I was a member of a local book club, woman's club, gym, and ski club. I was an avid runner and ran local races on the weekends. I loved to cook in my nice big kitchen with my designerware baking pans. I took the dog hiking at local mountain trails. I shopped at the local malls weekly for new clothing, household items, and books to read. I went to movies and out to dinner with friends. I did a lot of things. Before. Not anymore.

Now I go to work for 12 to 20 hour shifts. In this slow economy, I must take any shift I can get. This often means I may work 10 hours per week or 60 hours per week.  On my days off, I get up early to keep a regular schedule. I watch the news and get on Facebook. Then I read business and personal emails.  I log into a few veterinary websites and read the latest news on the message boards. Then I go back to Facebook. Maybe I will do a load of laundry. The rest of the day may consist of walking the dog, microwaving dinner, and watching a year old movie on DVD only to  fall asleep half way though. Once a week, I balance my checkbook, order needed books and supplies, network for new employment, and pay bills. I attempt to read a fiction book per month. I have started several books to only get through the first few chapters.

Meanwhile, the guys on the dating websites were participating in many interesting hobbies and having awesome life experiences. They are traveling to cool places, riding their motorcycles, and sailing their boats. Some guys snowskied while others claimed to waterski. Others read books, attended concerts, and visited museums. They posted pictures of the places they visited. They posted pictures of themselves doing their cool hobbies. They seemed to be having fun lives while I was just working, walking the dog, and sleeping.

My current workaholic self would not make an interesting person to date. What would I have to talk about except veterinary medicine and Facebook?  Why wasn't I having a fun life anymore? I decided that it was time to shut off the computer and get back into life!

I  took the dog hiking in a State Park for a few days to get some fresh air and contemplate hobbies and activities that I wanted to add to my life. I love to ski so I went on a  ski vacation and  became a ski instructor at a local mountain. I started running again and joined a gym. I went to Chicago and took a boat tour of the city. I traveled to attend veterinary conventions and also spend time out of the lecture rooms to sightsee.  I forced myself to log off Facebook during lunch breaks and read a fiction book instead. I let the laundry pile up and went to the theatre to see a current movie. I didn't make it camping or to the beach this year, but there is always next year.

Now when updating my profile on the dating websites, I can list a few hobbies that I truly enjoy and actually do on a regular basis. A sincere "thank you" to all the men on the dating websites for listing all those fun hobbies and life experiences. You may not have winked back at me or answered my 5 questions, but you have done so much more for me. You gave me the jumpstart to get a new life!

I will have a fun summer with lots of dates!

After a cold and snowy winter in Chicago, it was summer and the sun was out and the skies were blue. I made plans to take the dog on some hiking trips. And I decided to have a fun filled summer with world wind of dating. Again, I did what any smart professional veterinarian would do. I signed up for overnight shifts all weekends in June and July and registered for an acupuncture course. I also had some catching up to do with business files.

Then date offers came flooding in. Wonderful, just wonderful.


I couldn't go on one date at all, unless someone had a random Tuesday or Wednesday free. What was I thinking when I signed up for all these weekend ER shifts? Some of the date candidates were understanding about my work schedule; others were skeptical about my unavailability. And in the highly competitive dating world, a date missed with a nice guy may risk him being whisked away by another gal.

And now, the summer is  almost gone with only two weekends left to enjoy.  One weekend was to be spent on a family trip; but now it is a study weekend. The other weekend, Labor Day weekend, will be spent  working in the ER. Sadly, the summer is a bust for my plans of an epic dating extravaganza. :(

On a positive note, I did manage to get caught up in my business paper work and attend my first acupuncture course. I worked like a crazy woman in July when business was good. I joined a gym, took a few yoga classes, and spent a few afternoons at the pool. I took the dog to the Forest Preserve where she had a great time hiking, swimming, and playing with other dogs.

Getting back to dating, as the snow skiers say: "There is always next season to look forward to!".

Dating 101

Being a newly single gal and finally ready to enter the dating scene,  I did what every professional woman would do:  I addressed it like a work project. I got books from the library, movies from Blockbuster, asked friends for dating advise, and joined several on-line dating services.  I got a post-divorce make-over: new haircut, date clothing, manicure, pedicure, new make-up colors and perfume. Friends tell me that I am a catch, so I thought the date offers would come pouring in and I would soon be whisked off by Prince Charming. Then, I waited for the winks, flirts, phone calls, and date offers to arrive.



Apparently, the world of dating has changed since the last time I was a single gal and 25 yrs old. 

I am now in a new demographic where the number of available women outnumber available men. And, men in my age range may be interested in a much younger woman. Add to this that I am a professional woman with a busy career that had me often working long hours and overnight emergency shifts on weekends. Amazingly, I still look about 10 years younger than I am. Unfortunately, I don't have a group of girlfriends to check out the single scene as I did in my college years.

How does one mix a dating life and veterinary medicine together and keep their sanity? The daily ups and downs of my career can have one heading for the bar after a hectic day. Add in dating and new relationship drama, and I may end up on a therapist couch! Throw in taking care of my dog, Nikki, a 12 yr old Chow/Shepherd mix,  taking certification courses to become a specialist, keeping up  business records, and I am just too tired on a Friday night to go out on the town.

Follow my blog to learn about post-divorce dating while handling a career in veterinary day practice and emergency medicine shifts. For my colleagues that are too busy to date, you may live vicariously through my dating adventures. My happily married followers may realize how lucky they are to be married as they see what being single and playing the field may not always be the exciting adventure often depicted in movies. I hope you find my blog an entertaining insight to the dating scene!