Hey, are you available to IM me?

With my summer hectic lifestyle of working weekends and overnight shifts, I don't have time for singles dances or meetup functions.  I spend the rare quiet hours at the ER searching the internet dating websites for new gentlemen prospects. Initially, we send internet winks or smiles. Then, we get to know each other by exchanging emails and answering questions about our likes, dislikes, hobbies, and lifestyle. After several exchanges, I expect the guy is going to ask me out on a date. However, on several occasions, I received this message: Are you available for chat on IM?

Not exactly what I was hoping for.


Instant messaging or "IM" can fun and many things can be discovered about one another. It is great to be able to do this when I have a spare moment on a lunch break or slow time at the ER in the middle of the night. However, IMing is not dating. Isn't the ultimate goal of participating on the dating websites to meet a person for an actual date?  So then, why do guys get stuck in the IM chat mode?

Maybe the guys think they have to plan the perfect first date?  The first meeting doesn't have to be anything extravagant. A quick cup of coffee and a walk around a local park would be fine. Like most ER veterinarians, I have the attention span of a gnat and can't sit still for longer than an hour. Therefore, after a short conversation, I need to get moving!

Maybe the guys think they need to take me out for dinner at an expensive restaurant? That sounds great but most expensive restaurants make people nervous with too may forks to know how to use and too formal an atmosphere. I would rather eat at local "hole in the wall" with awesome cuisine.

Guys, listen up! I am on the computer all day writing medical records at work, checking for new emails, following friends on Facebook, repinning pictures on Pinterest, and reading animal stories on veterinary websites.  I need to step away from the computer sometime.  I will have to decline your invitation to IM chat. I am not available for a chat but I am available for a date!

"Meeting up" is not a date

When I  decided to begin dating again, I flirted with a few potential dates.  Being a successful veterinarian that is accustomed to being aggressive in my day job, I found it difficult to sit back and wait for the date offers to come to me. I emailed and even called several guys that I was interested in dating.  Finally an offer came in!   I got asked to go ice skating!!!!

Well, sort of.........it was more of  text message  "I am going ice skating today and if you go, I'll meet you there". I took this to mean a date. A date, finally a date!  And I ran to shave my legs and paint my nails....

I met the prospective gentleman at the ice rink and we had a great time.  It was fun to have an active date where one can talk for a little while and then "do something", rather than just staring at each other across a dinner table for 3 hours.

After the skating session was over, the guy was nice enough to walk me to my vehicle. Being a dating newbie, I was not sure of what should happen now. I did want to see him again and hoped to get asked out for another date. However, all I got was a quick comment:  "Thanks for coming! See ya!" and then he turned away and walked to his car.

Seriously???  No mention of a further date, no awkward quick first kiss. Nope, "meeting up" is not a date!